We all have things we choose to believe. Some of these beliefs guide us greatly in our daily lives. Some however, can keep us caught in common life paradigms. I often listen to what people specifically believe when they are telling me of the self leadership changes they wish to make.
I think of change as chosen personal leadership internal shifts that bring about external demonstrations of success.
I often notice it is actually the belief they are holding, which maybe keeping their barrier to making change in place. So, as a coach I listen to the various beliefs sensitive women share and ask if they are “resourceful” or “limiting”.
Have you listened to your own beliefs lately? Are you clear as to whether they help you to be resourceful? Do you feel like they may be limiting your self leadership in some way?
As a way to test this out for yourself; think of a problem you believe you have. What are your beliefs in reference to your problem? Take a moment and jot down what you believe.
Are your belief’s serving you? Helping you? Limiting you?
Here are some clues you might be referring to a limiting belief:
- You believe you are actually the problem. You’ve tied your personality to it and you’ve made it so personal it’s now become a part of you.
- Maybe even you are making a comparison in some way to someone?
- You believe your life is a problem because you have a problem. A bigger view is required perhaps? Are you sweating more than you need to?
- You believe it (that problem) can’t be solved. You’ve seen 1 answer – and it’s getting you nowhere.
In other words, if you believe your problem is personal, pervasive or permanent; you may be looking at things with a limited view. If this feels challenging to think about – this is totally natural. Anytime we or others challenge our existing beliefs… it can be a ruffling experience. After all, it’s not usually something we spend doing every day.
Sometimes our language too – can affect what we believe
“I’ll often share stories of my being around sensitive woman. When I was in my early twenties, I had a limiting belief about men. I believed all men were pigs.
At the time I didn’t know that belief was limiting me. It does feel silly to me now – to think I actually believed that. It’s now twenty plus years later, and I no longer believe all men are pigs – I now think men are the most wonderful beings, but back then – I saw too many men pursuing me in a too assertive way for my sensitivity and I labeled all men as how I saw those particular men that were chasing me.
In essence, I formed a belief that had an intention of keeping me safe – away from those chasers. I labeled ALL men the same – that way I kept a distance. I didn’t realize at the time – that this belief was keeping me from finding my soul mate. I became aware later – it wasn’t the men chasing me that was the problem – it was the belief I was once holding for myself about my own ability to keep my own self safe.”
I often hear people say the same kind of things about their own limiting beliefs. When they expand their awareness – they often describe it as just a little bit silly that they even had that limiting belief.
So anytime you find yourself using language like all, always, never, none… it may be a sign you too are restricting yourself in some way, and there may be a soon-to-be silly belief lurking there that is limiting.
Sometimes it is our projecting into the future that can affect what we believe
Think about the problem you you thought of a few minutes ago. Ask yourself these questions:
(write down your answers)
- What will happen if I address this problem?
- What will happen if I don’t address this problem?
- What won’t happen if I address this problem?
- What won’t happen if I don’t address this problem?
Your answers to those questions will give you clues to what you believe. Do you already have a sense of whether your beliefs are limiting or resourceful?
Sometimes we believe things without the evidence behind the belief
Ask yourself, “How specifically do I know my belief is true?” Sometimes you can even take on a beliefs because your family believed something. If this is true for you, you may have just missed the step of testing it out to see if it serves you now, here in present day.
Sometimes there are beliefs that can guide us as life lessons
Do you have beliefs that you repeat to yourself that inspire you?
Here are a few of my own beliefs I reference which inspire and guide my own daily living:
- “It’s never the problem – it’s how I respond to it that matters“ – It’s not about what is happening in my life – it’s my journey that matters. It’s how I respond to stressors, to life’s busy-ness, to unexpected circumstances and emergent tasks that makes the real difference in how I live my life. This believe keeps me moving forward, so I am always looking to improve how I respond to things.
- “Inward Peace is not the absence of conflict, crisis or chaos – but rather the ease I feel when I respond to what is going on in the moment” – It’s not what is happening – It’s always about how I respond to it that matters most. This belief reminds me to feel what is going on – fully – and then respond.
- “There is always a higher frame of reference possible” – This belief keeps me looking for bigger and bigger frames of reference for things and reminds me to look towards reflexive thinking.
“What matters most is HOW I do something” – One of the ways I find personal fulfillment is to pursue mastery in things I choose to do habitually. By giving my one hundred percent (what ever that is in the moment) I emphasize it’s how I do something that matters. As a result – I am never deflated or bored by a relationship, task or project. I am always enjoying what I am doing (even when it is challenging) - “There is always an easier way” – This keeps me on a path of being both effective and efficient.
- “We are all one” – We are all manifestations of a life force – and this “aliveness” connects all of us by the space between us.
There are many wild and woolly things about beliefs and the media, advertisers, politicians, our kids, our communities and our leaders are all trying to affect our beliefs in one way or another. The world is trying to influence you.
The opportunity here is to become really aware of what you believe and become even more aware of how you choose your beliefs and how those beliefs guide and influence you.
What are beliefs you hold that inspire you daily?
