4 Clearing Techniques to Get Past Stuck

clearing techniques
One key activity in undertaking a path of personal leadership is the courageous one of consistently breaking through perceived barriers.

Success comes easier when you take on a belief, a mindset and practice that stands in the perspective that stuckness is unnecessary and temporary as long as you handle not sitting still for it.

Barriers to our success can manifest in many forms depending on your perspective:  

  • Fear
  • self-talk or toxic thinking
  • Confusion
  • Isolation
  • Overwhelm
  • Resistance
  • Restriction
  • Financial
  • Lack of (name it) money, energy, resources, time
  • Barriers to Success

Barriers, if you let them, can stop you in your tracks.  It often takes small daily acts of courage to move through places where you feel stuck.   It takes a willingness to open yourself up to options and possibilities that will allow you to leapfrog these barbed barriers.  Now, while most of the clearing techniques are dramatically easier when working with an expert coach.

Here are 4 simple clearing techniques that are meant to aid in breaking down barriers:

Mind Clearing:  Got a barrier rooted in how you are thinking? It might be time to do some mind-clearing.  These would be things like having too many choices with equal weight.  Or you are feeling confused? Or unable to hold all the things that need to be done without feeling a sense of overwhelm?

Here is a simple idea…Blank Paper ExerciseThe blank paper clearing technique:  Take a blank piece of 8.5″ x 11″ paper, and with different coloured pens (use the colour where you choose) follow these directions:

  1.  Draw a small circle in the  middle of the page.  In the small circle – write what is you are confused or overwhelmed about – and do it in 2 words or less.  (This is your anchor thought)
  2.  Next draw a small circle – and in that circle write down 1 singular thought, question, or to do.   ( It’s important to only put 1 thought inside.  For example – go to the store and buy buns.. (that’s two thoughts)  Go to the store – is one , and buy buns is another.)

Continue to draw a circles one at a time, and then write the thought in each circle, one at a time – until you run out of thoughts.  (Try not let the circle edges touch)  You assist yourself a little for speed by setting a timer for 7 or 8 Minutes.

  1. At the end of your timer, or sooner if you feel complete – put down your pen and look at what you have done for 1 minute.
  2. Then turn over the piece of paper – so you are looking at the white page – with nothing on it. Look at the blank piece of paper for approx. 1 minute
  3. Take the piece of paper while still looking at the blank side – crunch it up into a ball – and physically throw it in the recycling bin.  It may seem a little shocking to through it away – You will be surprised though at the new awareness that after 10 minute exercise, you don’t really need it anymore.

Now think of your issue that you wrote in the center of the page of the exercise.  How do you feel about it now?   Where’s the confusion or overwhelm now?            Most people feel a greater sense of certainty after doing this exercise.Take this time of clarity to do a little planning of your next steps and determining what resources you will need to move forward.

Chemistry clearing
When you have a chemistry barrier – You might notice you have a language or communication barrier in a relationship.  Your relationship needs some TLC.  Clearing relationship barriers – just means to bring some internal and external focus:

  1. Internally – what do you need to forgive, release or allow?
  2. Externally  – what truth do you need to tell or expression do you have to make?

There are many communication techniques for clearing in relationships. Most good ones ask you to make distinctions between what you see (the truth) and what you make up  (the interpretation).  Truth often has many perspectives.  Interpretation isn’t based on reality.     You will notice that trying to control the outcome to clear a relationship barrier – may just keep you stuck.  Instead, you could try an “allowing” perspective with the intention of creating a connection – you may find that helps you to create some movement.

Body and energy clearing
When you have a body barrier to success  – it might be because your container for your capacity to feel an emotion is smaller than the energy of the feeling.  The result – is a feeling of fear, overwhelm or resistance.

To clear the energy – without forcing…feel into the energy of the feeling and continue to do this – until the feeling dissipates completely.

Spirit Clearing
When you have a barrier on the level of spirit – if not related to trust, it can sometimes be related to what meaning you have attached to your outcome.  Is it inspiring enough to pull you towards it?  Is It aligned with your values? And is the meaning you attribute to it worthwhile?

A simple exercise to clear energy on this level is to go for a walk in nature and think about the big WHY when you desire to do something and keep asking that question to each subsequent answer.  Eventually, after 5 or 6 layers deep – you will discover the deeper meaningful outcome you want.You might just surprise yourself as to what comes to you.   Hold that meaningful outcome up to some light – and see – if now you feel compelled to move forward.It is what meaning making – and those parts of ourself that we bring to the world – that raises your WHY up to a spiritual level.Allow your meaning-making to permeate everything you do.

 

10 Personal Leadership Tips on How to Be Unconditionally Compassionate

personal leadership compassion

 

“One of those blessings was each day, I had the opportunity to get better and better at being unconditionally compassionate.’

I’ve learned, when the purpose and meaningfulness are large enough – our compassion doesn’t need boundaries of a clock – nor of personal energy tank levels.  When the meaningfulness and love are there; empathy and compassion flows freely.

I used to believe it was very difficult to attempt to give empathy if my self-empathy was low or depleted and while there is still truth in that statement, what I also believe is that unconditional compassion is possible when you are “filled with love”.  I have found that LOVE topped my empathy tank instantly, and my level of personal presence soared.

Even in the face of what previously might have been overwhelmingly unfaceable stuff, I now believe it’s possible to be compassionate without limits.

Here are 10 tips to help you leverage love to get better at being unconditionally compassionate:

  1. Listen to Love and Express with Love.   The voice of love is a calm and soothing voice.  It’s not the hurtful things people might when they are hurting.  It’s not the judgements or criticisms that may come towards you.   Key – is to validate your wholeness rather than looking outside yourself for validation of the magnificent being you are. When you express with Love, you say everything that needs to be said from Love.  People need to hear your love – feeling it is one thing – expressing it is equally important.  And I found they just might need to hear what you have to say.  Even if it’s something simple as “It’s OK to go, Dad, we’ll be OK”.
  2. Allow instead of control.  When you allow options and choices to flow with ease, things flow.  “Love going with the flow”. It leaves you in the most flexible position to be able to respond to what you witness.
  3. Self-manage.   Feel your emotions and at the same time you do it for yourself you have the opportunity to help the other to self-manage too.  The better the energy of the emotions can flow – the more intimacy and authenticity gets to be present between you and another.
  4. Jettison any judgements you may find yourself collecting.  Judgement is just another way of separating yourself from Awareness and Truth.  Remember we are ONE.
  5. Pity nothing.  Pitying puts you on a different level than the one you are serving.  Learn to love seeing yourself as one with them.
  6. Serve instead of manage.  Serving takes into account the wishes, hopes, capacity and needs of the other.  Managing implies you need to control behaviours to reach an intended outcome.   Sometimes being in service is the gift you give.
  7. Have a cause yet don’t get crippled by it.  When a loved cause becomes a burden – compassion suffers.  It takes a light connection to a cause to be able to embrace it fully & continually.
  8. Forgive.  Forgive them and yourself.  Everyone does the very best they can with what resourcefulness they have at any given moment. See them with LOVE.
  9. Laugh lots. Laughter helps keep things light.  Even the densest of situations can be lightened up with a little congruent laughter.
  10. Stay in the present moment.  Letting your mind drift to the past or to what might be coming next can either get you lost in stories or worry.   Remember fear can’t live in the present moment.

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This article was a result of my time giving at-home-complex-palliative care for my 82-year-old father who had end-stage bone cancer.

Dad had a terrible time of it – and while that was true, it was also true there were many blessings and a legacy of love that came from sharing this experience with him.

Note:Dad I’ve written these 10 tips in the context of caregiving – yet believe they can be universally useful.   Test them out.   Identify a scenario where you feel you could be better at being unconditionally compassionate – and see if you feel these tips are helpful.

Have additional tips? Leave a comment to share.

Looking for another perspective of compassion?  Have a listen in on Joan Hyatt’s TED talk on compassion and empathy – It is moving and so accurate a description: http://www.ted.com/talks/joan_halifax.html