Feeling Overwhelmed? – 3 Ways to Solve That Problem Right Now

solve overwhelm

 

Have you lost your sense of calm and equanimity recently?

Have you lost your balance and feel overwhelmed?

One problem with feeling overwhelmed is that we often don’t even acknowledge we are in it, when it begins, and before long, we are up to our eyes in it.

 Feeling overwhelmed is the problem of being caught in the illusion that there is too much to do and not enough time to do it.

Your first reaction might be to say it’s no illusion, ” I do have too much to do,” but THAT could just be part of the cause of your problem.

 The too much perspective

Let’s address the “TOO MUCH”  perspective first.   When we have TOO MUCH of ANYTHING, it’s because we have not edited things down to what is truly meaningful and realistic.

When you expect yourself to accomplish more than is humanly possible, and you are only human, something is out of alignment.   Either you are not taking effective action to get things done or you haven’t made things practical enough. Why not simplify things?

Fast action activity:  Here is how to get organized when feeling overwhelmed. Write a list.  Thinking about letting go of anything that is not meaningful, important or urgent.  If you have things on your to-do list that are not urgent, important or meaningful, you might want to reassess why you were going to try to do them.  One energy-giving activity is to consider STOP doing the things that are not important, meaningful or urgent.  Here is a downloadable form to use.

Your second reaction  might be to say, “ I SHOULD be able to do this.”  That judgement might be giving legs to your problem of being overwhelmed!

 The low compassion for self perspective

It’s an all-to0-frequent sand trap we can fall into when we think we can do it all.

We think we can push ourselves further and further, over-committing ourselves, and then, when we fail and fall into exhaustion, we spend way too much time caught up in negative self-talk about the whole thing.

If you are stuck, it’s time for some clearing techniques.

If you’re tired, perhaps it’s time for some self-compassion.

Bottom line – if you find yourself in a low vibration around being kind to yourself  or being frustrated by others, take a much needed time out and begin or continue a significant self-care focus.

Fast action activity: Go and take a napWhen you come back, think about ways you can maintain some equanimity.  You might decide to stop saying yes automatically. You might decide to say no more often.  You might decide to choose to do only those things that are meaningful to you.

A common third reaction is a huge source for the problem of the overwhelmed…

 The I am all on my own and isolated perspective

Believing you are isolated and alone.  You have forgotten your connection with ONENESS.

Fast action activity: Remember we are ALL one.  Shift to a perspective that we, every human, are all connected.

Here are some other ways to cut down that feeling of being overwhelmed in isolation:

  •  See out connection with others.
  • Separate the core truth from an interpretation.  Often, the interpretation is the source of the isolation! In a full-on perspective of truth, there is comfort (of some sort).
  • Unhook yourself from the future.
  • Wait for clarity before making decisions.  It may be you need to bring in other perspectives or wait for the emotional wave to pass.
  • Go for a state of calm in all situations. Calm is a highly resourceful state – one that you can leverage to travel in any direction you choose.
  • Do a little prioritizing and create hierarchies.  It’s amazing how a re-alignment to what is most meaningful will do.

I like to think of “overwhelmed” as an unnecessary state of affairs.  When you choose to lead yourself in a more self-designed effective way, the overwhelmed feelings become an experience of the past.

Will you ever experience feelings of being overwhelmed again? In these times we are living in? Probably.

Yet, when you have an effective tool-kit for handling being overwhelmed, the second you feel it coming on, you’ll have designed an effective response.

The moment you feel overwhelmed is the opportunity to be proactive in how you self-manage, be response-able enough to recognize it immediately, and take responsive action.

Ask yourself “What would bring me back to balance?”  “What can I do, right now that would get me above this?”

 

“What kinds of things help you get back to equanimity and balance?”  Share your thoughts.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Self Leadership – The Energy Drain of the Automatic Yes

The Automatic YesLet’s define the automatic Yes.   An automatic yes is when you respond to an invitation  without taking time to pause in order access your personal energy,resources or values.

There is a reason – so many women leaders make overcommitments:

As a woman, If you are not too exhausted, you probably love to be able to say Yes!  For the most part –  It’s in your nature to serve others.   And let’s be honest – when you get to say yes – it feels good.

In general Yes’s can raise your vibrational energy when they are in alignment with your beliefs and available vitality. That’s the good news.   A mind, body and spirit totally aligned yes – can be a very joyful experience.

When Yes’s are automatic however, they just may cause you to extend past your available energy, resources or beliefs. Automatic yes’s – they can instead dampen your energy and even take you down right into an exhaustion cycle.

Let’s look at some the factors around self leadership Yes’s and No’s:

Benefits of Yes’s (perceived)

  • You might be seen as someone who is organized and time-wise.
  • You will be liked for your response. People love to hear yes.
  • You might be appreciated. People are grateful you said yes.
  • You might bolster some else’s esteem. A yes makes someone feel good about themselves.
  • You might ease some else’s stress or burden
  • You might get to delay a decision
  • You will please someone

Consequences of Automatic Yes’s

  • You might make an overcommitment  – and either get tired, or do a lower quality of service as a result
  • You might have to disappoint someone afterwards – because you can’t complete on what you agreed to do
  • You might become resentful of having to do what you said yes to
  • You put others before yourself.   Your needs get back-burnered.
  • You make no traction on your own goals because you have gifted your time, energy and resources to another vision – not your own
  • You’ll have no more capacity for “Really Big Yes’s”
  • You might have to lie again later
  • You might delay decisions

Consequences of No’s

  • Someone wouldn’t like it
  • You might be left at some point
  • You might leave someone else behind at some point
  • You might lose out
  • You might have to actually do what you say is important to you
  • You’ll have to make a decision
  • There might be trouble

Why do Automatic Yes’s?

The reason so many women give automatic yes?  The answer deeply lies in one question:

 What is it YOU would have to feel – if you were to not to say yes?

A No spoken with congruence and alignment of mind-body and spirit not only is true to your own essence – it often is in service to the other.  When we give from a place of  low congruence – we give to the other person – less than they deserve – and in some ways we might even cheat them from the opportunity of finding a better option.

When we give from a place of a resounding yes!  we give our whole heart body and soul.  People do deserve this from us.  In self leadership,when you respond with the truth of your capacity and wishes – you give to another a gift. You give to your self – aliveness.

I am going to urge you to stop the practice of saying yes before you make an assessment about whether it really, really works for you.  Instead, I urge you to check in with your boundaries by pausing long enough to check-in on three things:

  1. A self assessment as to if you have the time, energy and resources to be able to deliver on your yes from a place of abundance.
  2. Assess whether this invite is in alignment with your goals – or is important enough to override your goal and values.
  3. If there is an emotional charge present – that you wait for clarity through that emotional wave.

All three of these check-in’s require you to get present to the question “What would I need to feel if I was not to say yes?” and then pause long enough to respond from full congruence.

Also watch out for these signs that you are perhaps making overcommitments:

  • A feeling that there is an expectation to say yes
  • A thought that you are obligated to say yes
  • A lack of enough awareness of  what you are really getting yourself into
  • A not yet learned skill of judgment. Over estimating your capacity.  (stopping and thinking before committing)
  • A not yet learned skill of  feeling things fully ( so you can respond instead of react)
  • Perhaps even fearing the consequences or outfall of saying no
  • “Over-using” a natural strength of responsibility

Let’s have you live in the place of a holistic yes.   A place where your heart and soul is aligned in everything you do – and you still have enough ease and energy to do the things that are most important to you.

You can do this – and the best news with you start saying big yes’s with 100% congruence you’ll give the best of who you are to the world.  Both you and the world deserve that.