10 Personal Leadership Tips on How to Be Unconditionally Compassionate

personal leadership compassion

 

“One of those blessings was each day, I had the opportunity to get better and better at being unconditionally compassionate.’

I’ve learned, when the purpose and meaningfulness are large enough – our compassion doesn’t need boundaries of a clock – nor of personal energy tank levels.  When the meaningfulness and love are there; empathy and compassion flows freely.

I used to believe it was very difficult to attempt to give empathy if my self-empathy was low or depleted and while there is still truth in that statement, what I also believe is that unconditional compassion is possible when you are “filled with love”.  I have found that LOVE topped my empathy tank instantly, and my level of personal presence soared.

Even in the face of what previously might have been overwhelmingly unfaceable stuff, I now believe it’s possible to be compassionate without limits.

Here are 10 tips to help you leverage love to get better at being unconditionally compassionate:

  1. Listen to Love and Express with Love.   The voice of love is a calm and soothing voice.  It’s not the hurtful things people might when they are hurting.  It’s not the judgements or criticisms that may come towards you.   Key – is to validate your wholeness rather than looking outside yourself for validation of the magnificent being you are. When you express with Love, you say everything that needs to be said from Love.  People need to hear your love – feeling it is one thing – expressing it is equally important.  And I found they just might need to hear what you have to say.  Even if it’s something simple as “It’s OK to go, Dad, we’ll be OK”.
  2. Allow instead of control.  When you allow options and choices to flow with ease, things flow.  “Love going with the flow”. It leaves you in the most flexible position to be able to respond to what you witness.
  3. Self-manage.   Feel your emotions and at the same time you do it for yourself you have the opportunity to help the other to self-manage too.  The better the energy of the emotions can flow – the more intimacy and authenticity gets to be present between you and another.
  4. Jettison any judgements you may find yourself collecting.  Judgement is just another way of separating yourself from Awareness and Truth.  Remember we are ONE.
  5. Pity nothing.  Pitying puts you on a different level than the one you are serving.  Learn to love seeing yourself as one with them.
  6. Serve instead of manage.  Serving takes into account the wishes, hopes, capacity and needs of the other.  Managing implies you need to control behaviours to reach an intended outcome.   Sometimes being in service is the gift you give.
  7. Have a cause yet don’t get crippled by it.  When a loved cause becomes a burden – compassion suffers.  It takes a light connection to a cause to be able to embrace it fully & continually.
  8. Forgive.  Forgive them and yourself.  Everyone does the very best they can with what resourcefulness they have at any given moment. See them with LOVE.
  9. Laugh lots. Laughter helps keep things light.  Even the densest of situations can be lightened up with a little congruent laughter.
  10. Stay in the present moment.  Letting your mind drift to the past or to what might be coming next can either get you lost in stories or worry.   Remember fear can’t live in the present moment.

###

This article was a result of my time giving at-home-complex-palliative care for my 82-year-old father who had end-stage bone cancer.

Dad had a terrible time of it – and while that was true, it was also true there were many blessings and a legacy of love that came from sharing this experience with him.

Note:Dad I’ve written these 10 tips in the context of caregiving – yet believe they can be universally useful.   Test them out.   Identify a scenario where you feel you could be better at being unconditionally compassionate – and see if you feel these tips are helpful.

Have additional tips? Leave a comment to share.

Looking for another perspective of compassion?  Have a listen in on Joan Hyatt’s TED talk on compassion and empathy – It is moving and so accurate a description: http://www.ted.com/talks/joan_halifax.html

3 Practical Spiritual Needs Hiding Underneath Your Clutter

and why it may occur without your knowing it

clearing clutter
If you can relate to having a fair bit of clutter in your life; here is an opportunity to look underneath it.

If you do not have clutter clearing as a habit or simplicity practice it just might be blocking your personal leadership vitality.  Look to the meaning or purpose behind your clutter as a way of expanding your awareness of why you might be “over-collecting“.

Have you been burying your spiritual awareness underneath your clutter?

There are many dimensions to clutter:

  1. There is the physical dimension (the actual stuff you are collecting),
  2. The mental dimension (being confused, non-clear or just too many thoughts),
  3. The emotional dimension ( all your feelings around collecting,  ignoring, having too much, or delaying releasing clutter) and then,
  4. there is the spiritual dimension of clutter.  When we talk about the meaning and purpose of your clutter – moves this type of clutter busting up into the spiritual dimension.  So today we’re talking about 3 practical spiritual needs that might be underneath your clutter.

Spiritual Need #1:  Awareness

Are you are hiding Something? (from yourself)

The opportunity here is to expand your awareness around your relationship with clutter.

Expanding your awareness of what clutter represents for you can be a real eye opener.  Once you find the meaning behind your clutter, you get to be in more choice about what to do next.

When we avoid shining a flashlight on the meaning of clutter – we avoid a major key to being able to shift behaviour.

My story with clutter evolved in my 20’s when first purchased a home, and then promptly began to fill it.    Then, right after my brother died, and my folks and grandmother moved to an island – I then experienced a period of collecting to the point of being cluttered.

I collected my folks remnants from their move,  the furniture from my grandparents early marriage and lots of ‘cluttery’ things to make my new home “comfy”.

It wasn’t until later after I began a path of personal development I realized what I was calling me being  “sentimental” was me – avoiding feeling the feeling of being “left”.

This “stuff” allowed me to feel connected – even thought I was separated by distance and death.  I was also resisting the natural changes that time brings too.

Now, over time – I more fully recognize how I was looking outside of myself for something that can only be found within.   The meaning.

Everyone’s story is different.  Are you holding on to too much?

Spiritual Need #2: Living Your Pure Potential

Who are you becoming?

Who are you in relation to your clutter? And What impact are you having on yourself and those around you?

It’s these ways of being that effect more than the tangible and intangible “clutter things”.  For example, pick one environment where you have a fair bit of clutter.

Just review it in your mind now.   You’ve perhaps not spent much time to think about how you behave relation to cluttered things.

So I’ll now invite you to imagine for just a moment that you are in an environment that nurtures and inspires you. A place where you have all your needs met, and you have all the feelings that go along with having all of your needs met.

Imagine you feel connected, loved, open, joyful and inspiring.

 If your inner critic is talking – keep he or she quiet for a moment and really give yourself the gift of just imagining your ideal environment.

Now ask yourself, has the way you have behaved in your environment  – have your behaviours been serving your soul?   Or your ego?

I find that this criteria question can help find your deepest desires for your best behaviours.  Once you find how you wish to behave and you habitually engage in behaviours in alignment with that – who you become is a byproduct.

Spiritual Need #3: Living Your Destiny.

Your legacy is how you lead yourself now. 

What is your personal legacy?  What legacy are you creating?  And when I am asking those questions – I am asking not for your perspective; but from a larger, meta perspective.    For example, sometimes when we collect physical thingy’s we have intentions for  “future use” .

I often find the details of that future use – hasn’t necessarily been grounded in a legacy framework that includes clear pictures of intentions and action steps of how they will be used and by whom specifically.

When you create crystal clarity about when, why and for whom  “things” exist in your environment – often the realization comes that “excess” isn’t really needed – because your resources have been planned to a T.