Using Peace as Guide to Your Own Self Leadership


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Let’s define PEACE as a state of calm personal presence where you are not caught up in any story of the past or worry of the future;  where you can easily maintain your personal emotional poise.

Peace can be a guiding energy in your personal leadership if you allow it.  Peace has an understanding that you are at personal ease with your choices and that you are flexible, open and responsive.   

Bottom line: It’s much easier to lead yourself with grace and ease when are in a peaceful state.


“Be at peace to be great at your personal leadership and be a great personal leader to also have inward peace.

Take a moment now and think about the last time you didn’t feel peaceful.  Can you see how, more than likely, you were frustrated, anxious or fearful in some small way?  

When you get caught up in non-peaceful energies, sometimes it can often be because of one of these 4 scenarios:

  1.    You are off balance
  2.     You are overly referencing the past – and applying interpretations, and living into those
  3.     You are caught in a limited perspective – and are excluding other possible perspectives
  4.     You are locked into an expectation and are reacting to that expectation

The above 4 things can be sources of struggle or frustration. 

Personal Leadership PeaceHere is how to gently turn your struggles into a greater sense of peace:

Pursue emotional mastery.  When you can be in a place of poise with your emotions, you leave yourself free to succeed.  When you have grace with your emotional range, you can freely express yourself without the fear of being overwhelmed by your feelings. 

If you shake when you are angry, if you cry to the point of interrupting your words, if you stay in a bad mood for more than a few moments, if you get stuck and stay there, or if you have things in your life you don’t want – these can be signs that your level of emotional mastery could use an upgrade.

Be diligent about looking for and being open to alternate perspectives.    Even things like being overly identified with your roles, life experience, moments of pride or failure can take you out of having an expansive perspective.  It can be so easy to limit who you are, just by saying, “I am (blank)”— for what happens in that experience is that you leave out all the other great things you are.  

Here are a few quick tips for understanding if you have embraced enough perspectives to put yourself in a place of flexibility and openness in your personal leadership:

  •         If you have 1 choice of perspective, without a doubt, you are in a limited perspective for you have blocked out any other possibility.  This is the “my-way-or-the-highway” stance.
  •         If you have 2 choices, you are caught in a dilemma.  An either/or choice is a set up for conflict and dis-ease.  It asks you to be constantly judging and comparing, which can take you away from peace and towards conflict.
  •         If you have at least 3 choices, you are in a place to be more at ease, not only because there are more options – it is also a gateway to the ultimate in flexibility where you can easily create perspectives and use your personal presence to sense the best choice for yourself.

Be judgment sensitive.

Judging, comparing, or criticizing something is a great inclusion as an element in a creative process – it is not a great thing, however, when it becomes a constant way of being.

Here is the biggest problem with the act of judging. It takes you out of connection because, in order to for you to judge something, you need to consciously disassociate yourself from it. (So you can see it clearly).

The problems come in, however, when you see yourself as ‘there – out there’, and you forget that you are also part of what you are judging.  In short, you are blocking the perspective of ‘wholeness’. 

You don’t have to look very far to see this in action.  Just listen for someone judging another.   Then, notice if part of the energy of what they are judging is someone alive within themselves. Often it is.

Have intentions instead of expectations.

Expectation is the mother of all disappointments. Expectations often bring suffering because we are not rewarded as we expect.

It is an illusory world where we bring into the present moment that which we have anchored and become identified with.  We expect things being a certain way including our place in that scenario. It’s illusory because it is made up. It is imagined.

In a dramatic sense, expectations are your attempt of trying to control the universe.   At first glance at that statement, you may say nay, but if you think about it long enough – you can sense the energy within you when you would like something to turn out a certain way.

Self Leading Yourself Out of Problems – Part 3

In Part 1 – we talked about how to leverage tolerations, abundance and integrity as ways to avoid problems all together.

In Part 2 – I shared ways you can better manage your energy to reduce some of the problems in your life.

Here are 3 more ideas for you that look at a lighter side of leading yourself out of problems:

Use EASE as a resource in your life.  Ease can be a resourceful state from which magic can happen. Think about these things: How much more resourceful are you when you are calm and relaxed?  Are you more flexible and open?     When you are at ease,  is it easier to tap in to your intuition and creativity?   When you are at ease, is it easier to visualize and dream in vivid details?  When you are at ease – are you better able to get yourself out of stuck?

When you are at ease, and then use that wonderful state to dream, imagine and create,   your process  pulls you forward like a vacuum towards your desired outcome.

On the other hand, if you spend your time wrapped up, tense, and either stuck in limited perspective, or caught up in the story of the problem – you just might  stay up in your head all the time in worry.  Often, the problems, if you do wiggle yourself out of them, take longer to resolve.

Create a personal leadership development plan for yourself.  A personal leadership development plan can accomplish a number of things:

  • You get to spend some time fulfilling your own needs and that process will nurture your personal growth and your soul
  • You get to identify what you want, what you will do, and who you will become
  • You identify what self-defined success looks like
  • You identify what you pay attention to, where you will focus and what you will measure
  • You create milestones and define time to carry out your dreams
  • You pre-develop strategies to overcome resistance or stuckness
  • You reward yourself well
  • You create opportunities for yourself to learn, to grow, and to make deeper connections with others

More than anything though, a personal leadership development plan is going to give you a foundation for success.  You’ll know your success isn’t happening by default.  Your personal success will be by design.

Create a problem-free bubble for yourself.  Are you hanging out with people who have a lot of problems?  or are you using problems as a source of adrenaline to keep things lively or feel needed?   This is really common for female leaders because – we are so practiced at problem solving.  It’s really easy to get caught up in the “problem,problem,problem,crisis, problem” repeating cycle in our lives.

If you are a leader – people bringing your their problems – may indeed be one of the places you gain energy or gratification from.  The hope for external validation can illuminate one of the problem causing perspectives.

At minimum, this is a call to think differently about problems. What would happened if you declared a problem free zone in your  relationships.   Do you think you might attract fewer problems?  Where we put the most focus – this is what we attract the most.

Problems are not “needed” to make a great life, and certainly they cost us many opportunities.  At minimum they cause delay – and delay is expense.

What is needed is the ability to handle what ever comes your way.  It’s this flexibility and resourcefulness of self leadership that will give you an experience of what a problem-free life is like.