Empathy – 4 Ways to Engage it in Personal Leadership

EmpathyEmpathy?
The Webster Dictionary definition of Empathy is described as “the capacity for participating in anothers feelings or ideas”.

Empathy is also a personal leadership skill and trait.  In a bigger sense, empathy creates a bond between you and others. It is information gathering on a level that stretches your own perspective  beyond your just own picture of things.

In personal leadership when you go beyond your own picture of things, this creates a bridge of understanding through mindful listening, and a way to know how others feel, by listening for their thoughts and feelings and then neutrally recording that information in your mind.   (Tip-something to remember when gaining an empathetic perspective is to not mix in your own thoughts and feelings in the assessment)

Another way to experience more empathy and connection,  is to increase your standards for your levels  of “caring” for what happens to others and to reflect and express that caring and understanding back to them in a sincere way. This is a ‘street-smart’ skill that can benefit both your personal leadership in life and at work.

Why is increasing empathy important?
In being of service to the world as a personal leader, when we increase our ability to be empathetic with others  and   expand our capacity to listen mindfully, then to sincerely express that understanding; we increase our chances for continued positive interactions.

When a person feels understood, they unfold and relax before you, and you then have an opportunity to bring them closer in relationship. A secondary benefit of engaging our empathy is that it can increase your ability to see alternative and creative ways to help and serve  through opening up to more perspectives than just your own.

Here are just a few of the ways to engage your empathy:

  1. Remembering to see and hear about any situation from your own experience as well the client’s experience and be sure not to mix the  two.   A technique for being able to do this?  See and hear as if you are watching a movie  – that will keep some of your own judgmental awareness of your experience.
  2. Be very respectful of people. Listen with a full heart, an open mind and full attention. Demonstrate your understanding of what they are saying in the most appropriate way.  (Tip: this includes paraphrasing or using the same exact words if the person is showing contrariness and you feel the rapport lessening).  When you mindfully listen as if you their shoes and being open and relaxed even when you don’t agree and the biggest one of all; avoid multi-tasking while empathetic listening.
  3. Allow the other to express themselves. Interrupting can be beneficial for someone who needs focusing to the real issue at hand, or can be just another excuse for us to force our own perspective, advice or a solution in to the conversation.
  4. Avoid problem solving too soon. Avoid giving advice unless an implied request for advice has been given. Advice given too soon can cut off the others’ expression , and as a result, they may not feel fully heard.

Empathy connects us to others.  It may still may be on a moderately superficial level, but it is very informative compared to just going along with our own perspective.

Understanding the way someone feels, caring about them, and being able to express that caring in a conversation, can create strong rapport with others.  In addition to rapport, engaged empathy leads to a trusting relationship, which is a consistent outcome as a personal leadership.

If you still need a little convincing of the benefits of increasing your output of empathy as a personal leader – remember too – as a by-product, when you give all of your focus to someone and truly hear and understand them – the likelihood you will get the same in return increases for the skill required to be a mindful listener is also relevant in  sharing your own   expression through  gracefulness speaking.

Some other perspectives on Empathy

Seth Godin’s Perspective on Empathy

  • language training says:

    I like the article very much, as it is very informative and useful for people like me, who are lacking in empathy. I feel many a times, that I do not able to express myself in front of some people, though I want to. In my opinion, confidence is also which matters a lot in building a bond between two people. Those who have not self-confidence, do not able to gather courage to express themselves.

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