For Every Yes There is Something to Abandon

because you only have so much energy to give

life is about balance

 Life is about balance

For every YES in your life, there something to abandon. That is, something you could say NO to.

Abandonment is an important concept to remember when you are bringing in new goals, for it can be so easy to start to believe that you have an endless cauldron of energy, and then before you know it,  you are over-committed.   To give as much energy as you desire to your YES’s – it can be useful to identify what you might abandon so that you might preserve your precious energy and create some much needed personal leadership ease.

With any plan, as much as it is important to identify with what you will do, it is as important to identify with what you will stop doing.

It can be as simple as a bullet point list:

• crying over spilled milk
• having chips on your shoulder
• adding fuel to the fire
• barking up the wrong tree
• beating around the bush
• crying Wolf
• counting chickens before they hatch
• getting up on the wrong side of the bed
• knee-jerk reacting
• biting the hand that feeds
• starting off on the wrong foot
• judging a book by its cover

These will be things like:

  •  behaviors that do not honor your highest good
  •  clutter
  •  hanging out with naysayers
  •  non-completion of projects
  •  tolerations
  • spinning wheels
  • doubting yourself
  • delaying decisions

Some examples:

  • If what you want is to lose weight, eating hamburgers may be a contrary intention to losing weight so that eating hamburgers will be added to your list.
  •  If you want to be more active, you might want to have TV watching on your abandonment list.
  •  If you’re looking to have more integrity, you may decide that you will no longer allow yourself to be late for any of your appointments.
  •  If you are looking to be more authentic, telling, little white lies may be added to your abandonment list.

You get the idea. For everything that you do want – there should be one or more things you will stop doing to support your desire for what you do want.  This list will be the core of your abandonment plan.

Create your abandonment plan

Create a list of all your outstanding promises. Are there items on this list that are no longer relevant or that you no longer need to do? If so, put those on your abandonment list and as a condition of abandoning make sure you renegotiate those promises. Avoid leaving them hanging, for promises broken can add to your energy drain.

Instead, make sure everything that is on your to-do list is because it serves your soul, your heart, and your desire.

If you have done this exercise while you read, by now you’ve identified a few things that you could if you chose to, abandon.  If you haven’t done this exercise yet, I hope you will take the time soon.  Just take a moment or two to think about how this might simplify things for you and create a little more ease.

A simplified life means you are doing and having the things that are meaningful and you have released the non-meaningful ones.  Your focus becomes is more laser-like.  You are clearer and there are fewer barriers to you getting what you do want.

The easiest way to remember the opportunity is to visualize the ebb and flow of your energy.

Just Remember

For every yes – there is something to say no to.


Now, what do you need to say no to ensure your success?


Feeling Overwhelmed? – 3 Ways to Solve That Problem Right Now

solve overwhelm


Have you lost your sense of calm and equanimity recently?

Have you lost your balance and feel overwhelmed?

One problem with feeling overwhelmed is that we often don’t even acknowledge we are in it, when it begins, and before long, we are up to our eyes in it.

 Feeling overwhelmed is the problem of being caught in the illusion that there is too much to do and not enough time to do it.

Your first reaction might be to say it’s no illusion, ” I do have too much to do,” but THAT could just be part of the cause of your problem.

 The too much perspective

Let’s address the “TOO MUCH”  perspective first.   When we have TOO MUCH of ANYTHING, it’s because we have not edited things down to what is truly meaningful and realistic.

When you expect yourself to accomplish more than is humanly possible, and you are only human, something is out of alignment.   Either you are not taking effective action to get things done or you haven’t made things practical enough. Why not simplify things?

Fast action activity:  Here is how to get organized when feeling overwhelmed. Write a list.  Thinking about letting go of anything that is not meaningful, important or urgent.  If you have things on your to-do list that are not urgent, important or meaningful, you might want to reassess why you were going to try to do them.  One energy-giving activity is to consider STOP doing the things that are not important, meaningful or urgent.  Here is a downloadable form to use.

Your second reaction  might be to say, “ I SHOULD be able to do this.”  That judgement might be giving legs to your problem of being overwhelmed!

 The low compassion for self perspective

It’s an all-to0-frequent sand trap we can fall into when we think we can do it all.

We think we can push ourselves further and further, over-committing ourselves, and then, when we fail and fall into exhaustion, we spend way too much time caught up in negative self-talk about the whole thing.

If you are stuck, it’s time for some clearing techniques.

If you’re tired, perhaps it’s time for some self-compassion.

Bottom line – if you find yourself in a low vibration around being kind to yourself  or being frustrated by others, take a much needed time out and begin or continue a significant self-care focus.

Fast action activity: Go and take a napWhen you come back, think about ways you can maintain some equanimity.  You might decide to stop saying yes automatically. You might decide to say no more often.  You might decide to choose to do only those things that are meaningful to you.

A common third reaction is a huge source for the problem of the overwhelmed…

 The I am all on my own and isolated perspective

Believing you are isolated and alone.  You have forgotten your connection with ONENESS.

Fast action activity: Remember we are ALL one.  Shift to a perspective that we, every human, are all connected.

Here are some other ways to cut down that feeling of being overwhelmed in isolation:

  •  See out connection with others.
  • Separate the core truth from an interpretation.  Often, the interpretation is the source of the isolation! In a full-on perspective of truth, there is comfort (of some sort).
  • Unhook yourself from the future.
  • Wait for clarity before making decisions.  It may be you need to bring in other perspectives or wait for the emotional wave to pass.
  • Go for a state of calm in all situations. Calm is a highly resourceful state – one that you can leverage to travel in any direction you choose.
  • Do a little prioritizing and create hierarchies.  It’s amazing how a re-alignment to what is most meaningful will do.

I like to think of “overwhelmed” as an unnecessary state of affairs.  When you choose to lead yourself in a more self-designed effective way, the overwhelmed feelings become an experience of the past.

Will you ever experience feelings of being overwhelmed again? In these times we are living in? Probably.

Yet, when you have an effective tool-kit for handling being overwhelmed, the second you feel it coming on, you’ll have designed an effective response.

The moment you feel overwhelmed is the opportunity to be proactive in how you self-manage, be response-able enough to recognize it immediately, and take responsive action.

Ask yourself “What would bring me back to balance?”  “What can I do, right now that would get me above this?”


“What kinds of things help you get back to equanimity and balance?”  Share your thoughts.