Have You Been Pulled Out of Presence Lately?


pulled out of presenc

There are any numbers of ways to get pulled out of the present moment.

The present moment, after all, is just a moment, surrounded by vast moments of past and vast moments of future.

It’s no wonder why it can be hard to find our place in the present moment on a consistent basis in our own personal presence or in our presence of mind.
There are times when you know you are not in the present.   That’s when you consciously step out to remember something from the past, or when you spend time during our day dreaming about the future.
The good news is in those times, you can easily see the value of our departure for what cool things it can bring us.
What about the times though, when you are not so conscious about your departure from the present moment?
Why might you want more personal presence?  Do you realize how much you lose or gain in those moments?


Do you TUNE-OUT?  Do you worry?

Those are just two signs you are being pulled out of the present moment





Here is a very short list of examples of moments where you might just lose sight of the present moment:

Tuning out, when listening to a friend’s story (or sentence)
Tuning in to the TV
Forcing things:  this thing must be done in this order.
Seeking approval, validation or love:  “Sure, I’d be glad to help you now”
Reading a restaurant menu: How many times have you ordered the sample dish that walked by you a few moments before?
Eating a meal (Especially if multi-tasking… reading, talking, watching TV)
Walking down the street during rush hour
Sitting on the train
Driving a car (Have you ever realized you just traveled 10 blocks but you don’t remember driving them?)
Any time you self-hypnotize yourself (reading a book, listening to a story, thinking of big concepts like love, abundance, etc.)
Paying bills
Avoiding things: housework, home repairs
Being late for meetings or appointments
Putting on non-matching socks or your sweater inside out
Holding on to that financial stock – way too long
Cocktail parties
Mini-Rules: When we use mini-rules as decision-making tools. (Things must run one way)
Silk-lined rabbit holes:  Those little tunnels of information gathering, YouTube watching and URL link following
Shiny Object Syndrome: I will be complete – when I have THAT new thingy.
Conscious presence takes conscious choice of choosing to be present.  We intuitively know it would be almost impossible to be present to everything, all the time – for we would be overwhelmed by information and sensations. There are many examples out there where it’s shown we process by filtering and generalizing.
It can be easier to stay present when you have a particular goal to do so.  Like when you were in school and you paid attention in class because you knew there was an exam in the morning.

To put being present into practice, here are a few methods I suggest:

1. Pick a particular time of day to bring yourself into full presence:
a. A morning meditation
b. Watching the sunset, and/or expressing gratitude
c. Mindfully eat a meal
2. Practice an awareness practice
a. The Gap Between the Thoughts Awareness Exercise (video)( 15 minute visualization)
3. Getting out into and listen to nature  and take some deep, deep breaths.
4. Just breathe.
Decide how you will define success for your own personal presence.  Will be a sunset watched? a mindful meal?  something else?

A Simple Way to Coach Yourself Out of Stress


Holiday Stress?

As a sensitive woman, this holiday season may leave you with the feeling of being overwhelmed when all you want is how to be calm and get some holiday relief.

Have you ever felt like you wanted to run for the covers? Wishing the holidays were over and you could breathe again?
When chaos is around you, it is so easy to have your mind focus on what you don’t want – or want to avoid, rather than what you do want. Thoughts suitable for scoundrels and negative energy surround our every fibre of being – and we are left feeling small.

“Is this done yet?” – A common under-the-breath-wish has been whispered my many a big-hearted, sensitive woman during the holiday season.

You may know what I am talking about – when you find yourself having the same thoughts over and over again when the season is attempting to steal your positive energy and power – and you feel dragged to a place of negative vibration.

The simple things like taking care of your family, inviting your loved ones to a get-together, can seem to be an enormous obstacle.

The opportunity is to recognize these worries long before they become a challenge. When you can be proactive, you will suffer less and ultimately be able to do more without dread.

The initial step in taking care of holiday stress is this:
Avoid replaying the problem over and over again. If you are saying something along the lines of “there is not enough time and too much to do”, and you are saying it over and over, and you don’t do anything differently, then you are using up your precious time – just maintaining the problem.

Better still, unplug the energy from the problem. To unplug, just tell yourself “stop!”, And then take a few long deep breaths to bring yourself totally into the present moment. When you had the anxious feeling earlier – you were projecting your energy into the future. It’s much more resourceful here and now, in the present moment.Free from being overwhelmed

Once you are fully in the present moment – ask, “What is the truth of my current situation?”. Answer your question without collapsing back into the previous level of thinking, and focus on what the real core issues are that created the problem. Write them down.

The next step is to become very aware of the emotions that are present.

For every core issue, you listed – identify the feeling that goes along with that issue.  For example, if one of the issues was that you were saying YES, automatically without checking in with how you feel about things, then that feeling might be of shame or embarrassment.

See if you can identify the reasons why you feel this way. These reasons may just be the things that are stopping you from being your most effective self.

The last step is to change your thought, to change the way you are feeling.

To do this, create a thought that is just a little bit better.

For example, if I am feeling embarrassed about automatically saying yes to everything… I might change my thought (by making it just a little better) to something like:
“I say yes to only some things automatically and then to others, I stop and see how I feel.”

After you have your statement, check in with how you feel at that moment. Most women feel a little bit better.

Next improve that last statement by making it just a little bit better.

“I allow myself time to see how I feel before I answer yes to a question” – and then see how you feel. (Even better still)
Then, just keep on creating incrementally better thoughts – until you feel great and resourceful.

Afterwards, also, give yourself a little bit of appreciation for what you have accomplished. Then give yourself a little bit more appreciation – and so on.