Self Leadership – Taking on Personal Leadership Habits


Have you ever said the words “I wish I had (blanked) sooner…”

If you have, it might be a sign that you might want to adopt some new self-leadership habits.  Habits are what puts the action into your desires and can help you regret-proof your life.

Self-leadership habits help you get more of what you do want and less of what you don’t.

Setting a Leadership Habit

4 ways you know you got habits:

  1. It’s something you’ve developed over time either intentionally or unintentionally.
  2. It’s something you do often enough to get competent at it with or without conscious though.
  3. It becomes second nature, requiring little energy to start or support it.
  4. It’s comfortable and, therefore, can be a bit challenging or uninspiring to stop.

“Now, some habits give you energy and others will drain you”  

Generally, most personal leadership habits  will give you energy that you can then extend out into to your world and there are two reasons for this:

  1. Energy goes where love flows.  When you are generally excited about something because YOU want it, it is more energizing.
  2. Personal leadership habits have a legacy. This legacy extends past your own identity and gives meaning to others around you.  THAT is both inspirational and life-giving.

5 Reasons why you might want to create some new personal leadership habits:

  1.  To get better at something you desire.
  2.  To become masterful at your desired skill.
  3.  To help you to live a struggle-free life.
  4.  To help you live from your own essence and on your own terms.
  5.  To make it easier to make a difference in the world by becoming your own best self.
Want some ideas of types of personal leadership habits? here is some further reading… Self Leadership – 7 of the Most Important Skills to Master

3 common reasons why you might think personal leadership habits are not for you:

  1.  You really might not like the challenges change brings.  You might be comfortable hoping that things will stay the same.  (Reality check – It will not)
  2.  Personal Leadership is confronting to MORE than your habits.  If you engage in personal leadership habits, you are going to get some push-back from your own relationships as a natural result.  To move through this, it takes a realization that you don’t need validation from anyone to live your own best life.
  3.  You might want to just blend in with the crowd.   Until you are skillful at handling criticism, and the other skills of self leadership, the idea of being a bit “out there“, might just seem a little risky.  It takes a greater awareness of your own innate courage to undertake a path of personal leadership.

 I hope you never have to say the words, “If only I …”

Regret is a reactive emotional state and is almost unnecessary when you live a life filled with self-leadership.  Imagine no more invisibility, or fear. Imagine living a successful life that you self-define.  A life that is resourceful, creative and complete. Living a life filled with personal leadership habits can give you the resources you need to do just that.

Spend a few minutes today thinking about what you would like to be ‘better’.  Within that desire – can be your new personal leadership habits.


7 Simple Ways to Gain Confidence with a Personal Leadership Plan



It’s possible your level of self-confidence has changed over the years.   There may be times – you felt very self-confident.

There may be times as well when you found your confidence waning, especially after a time of being away from your self-leadership skill set.

Here are some distinctions that are often really easy to forget:

1. Self-confidence is not a static destination, instead – it’s a state of being that is both fluid and cumulative.

2. Self-confidence is a mind-body state that requires the congruence between intention, repeating resourceful thoughts and emotional energy.

3. There is a difference between being confident around “doing a skill”, and being a confident person.

Here are some key awarenesses about confidence in action:

You pretty much know when you are having the experience of being confident around a skill-set.  You might even notice yourself standing a little taller and speaking with a stronger, truer voice.

What might be less conscious, is how to go about making  your own confidence grow by building a practice.

Why confidence is important in self-leadership:

There are three key things that you’ll do as a personal leader:

  1. You will influence others based on being a role model of what matters most. If your certainty is greater than their doubt – you will have influence.
  2. You will choose how to respond in any given situation. The more confident you are with your choices and  how you will respond will directly affect your outcome.
  3. You will be taking action. The more confident you are in your actions, behaviors and habits, the more effective you can be.

These are just some of the reasons improving your self-confidence is actually a personal leadership development opportunity.

THERE IS a price for self-confidence, it is to be in action. We earn our confidence by extending ourselves and then accumulate confidence as we go. The more we extend, the more we build.

This is why confidence-building can become a habit or a practice that you can design.

“Confidence building, it’s the practice of being willing to be uncomfortable”

One of the easiest ways  to build your confidence is to include your journey inside a personal leadership development plan because it will be something you’ll do step-by-step.

Here are seven simple ways to immediately improve your self-confidence:

  1. Recognize practicing and gaining mastery, improves self-confidence

The awareness that it’s only realistic to get confident by undertaking a practice of self-mastery is an important one. Getting caught up in the expectation that you’d be masterful at something without practice is both a limited thought and expectation, that in the end, after the probable reality sets in – may actually take away from your level of confidence – rather than add to it.

“Struggle and disappointment are two of the biggest confidence drains out there”

Tip: follow your bliss. When you are passionate about something, it’s a lot easier to stick with the practices that lead you to watch your mastery. Design practices that will bring you closer.

  1. Deal with any stuff that might be in the way, right away

Recognize that there may be fears that might be diminishing your level of self-confidence. You might just be really surprised to find out that a fear about being isolated or a fear of criticism might be big barriers to improving your self-confidence.

Tip: Write out a list of things that might be getting in the way of your self-confidence and think of a few ways you might begin to master your fear.

3. Master your thinking. Think better to feel better

Our thoughts have a huge impact on how we feel about ourselves  when you learn how to control the internal committee of critics and create streams of thought that support you and not weigh you down.

Retrain your brain to serve you. Taming the gremlins and maintaining separation between what is truth and what is just an interpretation of an internal critic, are the first steps to mastering your thinking.

4. Master your emotions. You’ll do better when you feel better

When you have emotional mastery, you can choose how you feel in any given moment. Then you can stop reacting and start responding to things.  When you do this, you’ll struggle less. Begin by making an agreement with yourself that you’ll no longer avoid feeling things fully.

Tip: Begin today by making yourself a promise that you’ll be present to whatever shows up.

5. Master the practice of your skill of choice

Confidence is the by-product of competence. As you improve your competence your confidence will grow.

Tip: Use this simple method to plan out your skill-set learning. Download this free planning form.

6. See the bigger perspective

Seeing the big view of things as you access how confident you are, is one of the best ways to put things into perspective. There is nothing like a good reality check into your true magnificence.

All too often confidence dips can be directly linked to an interpretation and not the full truth of the situation.

7. Be in your best personal presence

Living in the present moment helps to quiet negative self-talk.  Fear just can’t live in the present moment; for when you are present – the illusionary nature of fear can be witnessed.   Personal presence is by far the most resourceful state you can leverage.  It’s from this place you can be your most flexible, creative and knowing self.

Tip: Fastest way to bring yourself present?  Just stop and take 3 slow long breaths.


What has helped you become more self-confident around the things you choose to do?