Holiday Relief for the Sensitive Woman

Surviving XmasThe holiday season can be a time of great excess. Lots of activities, deadlines, pressures and expectations can dart out at you.
There is no other time of year that calls so loudly to the sensitive woman to take great self-care.

As a sensitive woman – you can either collapse into the chaos of the holidays or you can maintain some semblance of balance and calm.

The good news is that you have choices as to the type of experience you wish to create.

Here are a few tips on how to stay calm and centered in order to give you some much needed holiday relief:

  1. Plan. Taking out your calendar and planning when and what you will do during the holiday season can help you spread out the work so that no day seems overwhelming.
  2. Have intentions rather than expectations. When we have expectations we welcome struggle. Having an intention instead, allows you to be open to possibilities and open to the universe to provide perfect experiences. Expectations on the other hand, are our interpretations of how we wish something to be as a result of becoming overly identified with the perspective. Most often the perspective we identify with is that we have some sort of control over the situation.
  3. Ask for help rather than do it all yourself. Wherever did we get the idea that we needed to be a Superwoman? That aside, doing things on our own leaves us all alone. It’s so much better to do things in connection with others. After all that’s a lot of what this season is about.
  4. A ‘little bit’ – rather than ‘a lot’. Taking in little bits at a time helps keep overwhelm in check. Just as you would eat a meal slowly in order to get the signal you are full, so can you take in little bits of the season at a time to get a sense of where your balance begins and ends.
  5. Say NO to more this season. Nothing can get you in more trouble than having a habit of saying yes automatically. When we over-commit ourselves, it takes us out of our own sense of balance. Learning to say no more effectively will help you keep your equilibrium. And yes, it is possible to say no in a way that is both compassionate and kind and still meets your own need.
  6. Drink a lot of water. Aside from the health benefits of being well hydrated, drinking water can help you better access your intuition. It’s your intuition that will tell you how to take the best care of yourself.
  7. Build in time to rest. When was the last time you took a nap? We all need time to rest and rejuvenate. Thinking that we can run on empty and still deliver our best is a common trap that any woman can fall into. All you have to do to see the illusionary basis of that thought is to ask yourself “could I do better if I was better rested”?
  8. Build in some alone time. When you allow yourself time for contemplation, prayer, or meditation, you allow yourself space to access your higher guide. It’s the wisdom that we get from checking in with our higher power that can make a big difference in whether we are balanced in both our getting and giving of energy.
  9. Try something new. Trying something new creates some wonderful new energy. Stretching outside of your comfort zone can give you a wonderful sense of calm confidence too. Have a passion you haven’t tried out yet? This might be the time to take it out for a spin. Just remember, for every new YES you have, there is an opportunity to say NO to something else.
  10. Get creative. The best place to be creative is in the present moment. Not only do you increase your capacity for creativity, you are also more likely to be open to possibilities and the magical things that can happen in the wonder of the moment.
  11. Bring beauty into your world. You can bring beauty into your world whether by a piece of art, a sacred object, or even perhaps creating image boards on Pinterest. By connecting with things that are beautiful to you, you bring extra energy to yourself. I like to think of it as filling your beauty tank. After your beauty tank is full, it’s still possible to witness a whole lot of ugly in the world, and still be able to maintain your sense of equanimity.
  12. Find your sense of play. The joy and lightness that comes from being playful brings wonderful energy towards you. If you lost your sense of play it’s worth the effort to locate it again. Not to worry if it’s not immediately there before you, you just may need to search it out. You can even make your search for your renewed playfulness a game.


7 Simple Ways to Gain Confidence with a Personal Leadership Plan



It’s possible your level of self-confidence has changed over the years.   There may be times – you felt very self-confident.

There may be times as well when you found your confidence waning, especially after a time of being away from your self-leadership skill set.

Here are some distinctions that are often really easy to forget:

1. Self-confidence is not a static destination, instead – it’s a state of being that is both fluid and cumulative.

2. Self-confidence is a mind-body state that requires the congruence between intention, repeating resourceful thoughts and emotional energy.

3. There is a difference between being confident around “doing a skill”, and being a confident person.

Here are some key awarenesses about confidence in action:

You pretty much know when you are having the experience of being confident around a skill-set.  You might even notice yourself standing a little taller and speaking with a stronger, truer voice.

What might be less conscious, is how to go about making  your own confidence grow by building a practice.

Why confidence is important in self-leadership:

There are three key things that you’ll do as a personal leader:

  1. You will influence others based on being a role model of what matters most. If your certainty is greater than their doubt – you will have influence.
  2. You will choose how to respond in any given situation. The more confident you are with your choices and  how you will respond will directly affect your outcome.
  3. You will be taking action. The more confident you are in your actions, behaviors and habits, the more effective you can be.

These are just some of the reasons improving your self-confidence is actually a personal leadership development opportunity.

THERE IS a price for self-confidence, it is to be in action. We earn our confidence by extending ourselves and then accumulate confidence as we go. The more we extend, the more we build.

This is why confidence-building can become a habit or a practice that you can design.

“Confidence building, it’s the practice of being willing to be uncomfortable”

One of the easiest ways  to build your confidence is to include your journey inside a personal leadership development plan because it will be something you’ll do step-by-step.

Here are seven simple ways to immediately improve your self-confidence:

  1. Recognize practicing and gaining mastery, improves self-confidence

The awareness that it’s only realistic to get confident by undertaking a practice of self-mastery is an important one. Getting caught up in the expectation that you’d be masterful at something without practice is both a limited thought and expectation, that in the end, after the probable reality sets in – may actually take away from your level of confidence – rather than add to it.

“Struggle and disappointment are two of the biggest confidence drains out there”

Tip: follow your bliss. When you are passionate about something, it’s a lot easier to stick with the practices that lead you to watch your mastery. Design practices that will bring you closer.

  1. Deal with any stuff that might be in the way, right away

Recognize that there may be fears that might be diminishing your level of self-confidence. You might just be really surprised to find out that a fear about being isolated or a fear of criticism might be big barriers to improving your self-confidence.

Tip: Write out a list of things that might be getting in the way of your self-confidence and think of a few ways you might begin to master your fear.

3. Master your thinking. Think better to feel better

Our thoughts have a huge impact on how we feel about ourselves  when you learn how to control the internal committee of critics and create streams of thought that support you and not weigh you down.

Retrain your brain to serve you. Taming the gremlins and maintaining separation between what is truth and what is just an interpretation of an internal critic, are the first steps to mastering your thinking.

4. Master your emotions. You’ll do better when you feel better

When you have emotional mastery, you can choose how you feel in any given moment. Then you can stop reacting and start responding to things.  When you do this, you’ll struggle less. Begin by making an agreement with yourself that you’ll no longer avoid feeling things fully.

Tip: Begin today by making yourself a promise that you’ll be present to whatever shows up.

5. Master the practice of your skill of choice

Confidence is the by-product of competence. As you improve your competence your confidence will grow.

Tip: Use this simple method to plan out your skill-set learning. Download this free planning form.

6. See the bigger perspective

Seeing the big view of things as you access how confident you are, is one of the best ways to put things into perspective. There is nothing like a good reality check into your true magnificence.

All too often confidence dips can be directly linked to an interpretation and not the full truth of the situation.

7. Be in your best personal presence

Living in the present moment helps to quiet negative self-talk.  Fear just can’t live in the present moment; for when you are present – the illusionary nature of fear can be witnessed.   Personal presence is by far the most resourceful state you can leverage.  It’s from this place you can be your most flexible, creative and knowing self.

Tip: Fastest way to bring yourself present?  Just stop and take 3 slow long breaths.


What has helped you become more self-confident around the things you choose to do?