Holiday Relief for the Sensitive Woman

Surviving XmasThe holiday season can be a time of great excess. Lots of activities, deadlines, pressures and expectations can dart out at you.
There is no other time of year that calls so loudly to the sensitive woman to take great self-care.

As a sensitive woman – you can either collapse into the chaos of the holidays or you can maintain some semblance of balance and calm.

The good news is that you have choices as to the type of experience you wish to create.

Here are a few tips on how to stay calm and centered in order to give you some much needed holiday relief:

  1. Plan. Taking out your calendar and planning when and what you will do during the holiday season can help you spread out the work so that no day seems overwhelming.
  2. Have intentions rather than expectations. When we have expectations we welcome struggle. Having an intention instead, allows you to be open to possibilities and open to the universe to provide perfect experiences. Expectations on the other hand, are our interpretations of how we wish something to be as a result of becoming overly identified with the perspective. Most often the perspective we identify with is that we have some sort of control over the situation.
  3. Ask for help rather than do it all yourself. Wherever did we get the idea that we needed to be a Superwoman? That aside, doing things on our own leaves us all alone. It’s so much better to do things in connection with others. After all that’s a lot of what this season is about.
  4. A ‘little bit’ – rather than ‘a lot’. Taking in little bits at a time helps keep overwhelm in check. Just as you would eat a meal slowly in order to get the signal you are full, so can you take in little bits of the season at a time to get a sense of where your balance begins and ends.
  5. Say NO to more this season. Nothing can get you in more trouble than having a habit of saying yes automatically. When we over-commit ourselves, it takes us out of our own sense of balance. Learning to say no more effectively will help you keep your equilibrium. And yes, it is possible to say no in a way that is both compassionate and kind and still meets your own need.
  6. Drink a lot of water. Aside from the health benefits of being well hydrated, drinking water can help you better access your intuition. It’s your intuition that will tell you how to take the best care of yourself.
  7. Build in time to rest. When was the last time you took a nap? We all need time to rest and rejuvenate. Thinking that we can run on empty and still deliver our best is a common trap that any woman can fall into. All you have to do to see the illusionary basis of that thought is to ask yourself “could I do better if I was better rested”?
  8. Build in some alone time. When you allow yourself time for contemplation, prayer, or meditation, you allow yourself space to access your higher guide. It’s the wisdom that we get from checking in with our higher power that can make a big difference in whether we are balanced in both our getting and giving of energy.
  9. Try something new. Trying something new creates some wonderful new energy. Stretching outside of your comfort zone can give you a wonderful sense of calm confidence too. Have a passion you haven’t tried out yet? This might be the time to take it out for a spin. Just remember, for every new YES you have, there is an opportunity to say NO to something else.
  10. Get creative. The best place to be creative is in the present moment. Not only do you increase your capacity for creativity, you are also more likely to be open to possibilities and the magical things that can happen in the wonder of the moment.
  11. Bring beauty into your world. You can bring beauty into your world whether by a piece of art, a sacred object, or even perhaps creating image boards on Pinterest. By connecting with things that are beautiful to you, you bring extra energy to yourself. I like to think of it as filling your beauty tank. After your beauty tank is full, it’s still possible to witness a whole lot of ugly in the world, and still be able to maintain your sense of equanimity.
  12. Find your sense of play. The joy and lightness that comes from being playful brings wonderful energy towards you. If you lost your sense of play it’s worth the effort to locate it again. Not to worry if it’s not immediately there before you, you just may need to search it out. You can even make your search for your renewed playfulness a game.

 

Loving Limits – The Personal Leadership Way to Lift Overwhelm

limit your overwhelm

Overwhelm:” Too little time and too much to think about, to feel or to do”

Overwhelm isn’t necessary. It happens when we don’t set limits.”

Given your limited amount of time, energy and resources, you have the opportunity to make decisions,  set priorities and make progress by using a practice of focusing in on what is most important and limiting the rest.   Two things are important here.  1) The way you think about time and 2) How you lead yourself.

Successful momentum comes out of your ability to limit the number of things in focus – especially those that cannot be achieved or started in the immediate future.

Putting limits on what you will and will not focus on, for any given period helps you lead yourself better.

No more would you lose connection with your heart’s knowing and let your mind overrun things, and make you attempt to be all things to all people. Limiting things allows you to focus on incremental and measured movement instead of trying make change all in one swoosh!

“No more do you need to feel scattered, isolated or confused.”

 Worry and Anxiety be banished! …Catch your breath and limit yourself to the present”

Here are a few ideas of things you might limit:

  1. Your time
  2. Your focus
  3. Your Agreements

1.      Ways you might limit your time:

  • The amount of time you take to make a decision.
  • The amount of time you spend doing activities: reading, watching TV, eating, and interacting with social media.
  • The amount of time you “give away” to serve other’s dreams, wants and desires.
  • The amount of time you worry.
  • The amount of time you sit without taking a break.
  • The amount of time you break without down sitting ( avoiding what needs to be done).
  • The amount of time you analyze a problem.
  • The amount of time you tell a story about a problem (stuck spending time orientated in the past).

2.     Ways you might limit your focus:

  • Identify 3 things you want to move forward that day, and commit to moving them forward!
  • Break things down in to small 20 to 50 minute tasks.
  • Make a promise to yourself you will not “go down any tunnels” or side shoots while you are working on a project.
  • Create habits for yourself – so that your focus can be “repetitive,” so that you can gain mastery and limit the drain causes.
  • Get rid of any distractions in your environment. If you have clutter around you – chances are – it’s affecting your ability to focus and it could just be contributing to that overwhelm.
  • Keep what INSPIRES you – close to you. The closer your inspiration is – the faster you can use it
  • Focus on getting needs met before focusing on wants. Trying to have it all – might be just giving you ALL this overwhelm. Make priority choices
  • Stay realistic. Spending too much time dreaming without grounding that dream into reality can keep things out of touch.
  • Ask for help. Bring in others and assign them a focus to help move

3.     Ways you can limit your agreements:

Identify what it is you really want to say yes too. Everything else has its place. For example, if   something you are doing is not on your YES list and you are still doing it, be very clear about why. Sometimes it takes courage to look at what might choose to “stop” doing.

For example could you say no to:

  • Saying yes automatically?
  • Saying yes to invites to dinner parties or activities (When they get in the way of what YOU want)?
  • Telling stories or retelling conversations?
  • Putting to many things on your to-do list?
  • Refusing to ask?
  • Eating something that is unhealthy for you?
  • Collecting things on to your ‘resentment pile”
  • Not leaving enough time in your schedule to take a nap or otherwise rejuvenate or recharge.

Freedom means less without a balance of structure and limits.

Instead, you love setting limits so you can enjoy your freedom more. Spend the rest of your time, energy and resources on things that are most meaningful to you.