Doubt Drabs – What To Do When You Doubt Your Own Leadership

intuition solves doubt

How to solve a dilemma of doubt

 

Got the Doubt Drabs? Have you ever found yourself caught in the dilemma of a doubt?    Like indecision and procrastination, doubt is putting up a challenge to a state of change on a body level.

Why you doubt something in your life:

If you doubt something – chances are – on some level you’ve stopped trusting and acting on your intuition.

This uncertainty is a demonstration of both losing your connection with personal presence and holding on to a fear of the possibility of overwhelming feelings.

The common illusion is that you can solve your uncertainty easiest with your mind – where actually, it is your body that will bring you home to clarity with the greater speed.

 Getting caught in the cycle of doubt can be expensive

If your project gets paralyzed because you are stuck in a cycle of the doubt – this can be expensive.  Indecision is expensive.  Doubt is draining.

 How to get through and beyond your doubt

Learn some key distinctions

  • Learn to make a clear distinction between your intuition and a feeling level response to avoid
  • Make clear distinctions between knowing and thinking

It’s easy to fall back into an over-thinking pattern when you are caught between choices.  So often this stickiness is experienced like Ping-Pong back and forth between the choices at hand.    Knowing happens when the wave of uncertainty clear – and that happens only in presence.

Learn to wait for clarity

Sometimes there is an emotional wave to wait through before uncertainty lifts.   Learning to live in the wonder of uncertainty, and still have momentum, helps you to avoid the pitfalls of getting caught in a cycle of not knowing. This is especially needed when you are caught in a cycle of toxic thinking.  When you have inward conflict such as a conditioning of doubt – forcing an outcome doesn’t move you out of problems.  Being open and flexible allows you be receptive to the knowing that may show up.

Learn to stay present – even in the face of the “Unfaceable.”

If you started doubting as a stop gap to having to face someone confronting you or shaming you – the opportunity is to learn how to be with the feelings by expanding your capacity to feel.

Learn to remember the future as clearly as you do the past

When you can begin to leverage visions of the future with flexibility and expanded awareness.  The concern around the ‘choice’ becomes less because you know you have the flexibility to learn and adjust.   You learn that being in momentum creates magic, and the state of sitting in doubt is more expensive.

Looking for some specific ideas to overcome your doubt – here are 7 ways to overcome doubt or uncertainty and 7 ways to move forward with greater certainty.

 

 

 

7 Ways to Lead Yourself with Congruence

incongruenceIf you are leading and not 100% in agreement and alignment with what you think, speak or behave – you are being at least a little in-congruent.

If you have ever found yourself in a position of  ‘teaching’ and not doing yourself; you may already know what I am talking about.  If you have ever thought – “that’s good for that goose and not for this gander”, you might be interested in these 7 ways to be more congruent:

1. Do you walk your  talk?  

Almost a platitude now, the phrase walking your talk has lost some of its power.  This happens a lot with sayings,  we hear it so often – it loses its anchoring effect.

Is it time for you to check in to see if you walk your talk?

Are you passionate about a subject and do you speak on it often?  Do you still engage with it with the same passion on a personal level?

It’s easy to let things slip.  All it takes is a slip of focus.  

Perhaps it is time for you to re-focus if you’ve found your self slipping.    Why?   Those who you hope to influence are watching.  They are watching for your congruence.  They are looking to trust you – and they will; when you are transparent, consistent and congruent.

2. Do you do as you believe?  

Do you believe others can do better?   How about you?  Can you do better?  The pursuit of  “‘betterism” is key in the leadership skill of being congruent.  Why?  Expectations of “being better” are out there.  If you are not thinking of how you can do and be better, on some level you are not keeping up with what you believe.

3. Do you live your values?  

If you feel something is important and do not act as if it is important – on some level you are settling for less.  If you are settling instead of risking living your values fully.  Somewhere someone else is leading YOU instead of you leading yourself.   Not to worry if you feel that you’ve neglected your own values for a while; it happens to us all from time to time.  It could be that  your values have changed over time.

If it is time to reconnect with what is most important – you’ll feel yourself becoming more congruent.

4. Do you follow your passions?

A passion is something that makes you come alive. It’s something you love doing when you are doing it.  If there is something you would like to spend your time doing – and you are not dedicating part of your day or week to doing it – What does that say?

It may say – that you think one thing – and do another.  It may say that you think less of your own happiness or worth than you do of role or choice.  It may just say – that you haven’t been aligning your actions with what you think about.

If you are passionate about something – living from congruence means you have made room for it in your life.

5. Do you fully express yourself?  

If you have found yourself holding back your voice of  self-expression, you know that uncomfortable feeling that comes along with that.  It feels awful.  You want to say what you want to say – yet there are risks.  Someone might not like what you say.

Well, there more risks than that.   Most of us can’t hide your facial expressions very well, and others will know you are not being congruent.

6. Are you consistent?

Congruence has an energy trail.   If you are repeatedly congruent – others will begin to trust you more.  It’s a cornerstone of being trust worthy.  If you are inconsistent, people will begin to see you as in-congruent with your behavior as a pattern.

7. Do you tell the truth?

Along with being consistent, telling the truth is a cornerstone of congruence. Telling the truth means telling YOUR truth. The truth of how you feel, how you think, how you act.

When we are talking personal leadership – there are no grey areas – either you are telling the truth – or you are not.

Truth-telling is congruence.

If you hope to influence, inspire or to have people trust you as you lead – congruence is imperative.  It affects everything from your personal presence, to the results you gain from the contributions you wish to make as a leader.

 

On a personal level, how you lead yourself (in congruence) also will affect your own personal level of fulfillment.

After all, in the end – you want to feel good about what you do  – and being congruent is just one way you get to realize that sense of fulfillment.