A Simple Way to Coach Yourself Out of Stress


Holiday Stress?

As a sensitive woman, this holiday season may leave you with the feeling of being overwhelmed when all you want is how to be calm and get some holiday relief.

Have you ever felt like you wanted to run for the covers? Wishing the holidays were over and you could breathe again?
When chaos is around you, it is so easy to have your mind focus on what you don’t want – or want to avoid, rather than what you do want. Thoughts suitable for scoundrels and negative energy surround our every fibre of being – and we are left feeling small.

“Is this done yet?” – A common under-the-breath-wish has been whispered my many a big-hearted, sensitive woman during the holiday season.

You may know what I am talking about – when you find yourself having the same thoughts over and over again when the season is attempting to steal your positive energy and power – and you feel dragged to a place of negative vibration.

The simple things like taking care of your family, inviting your loved ones to a get-together, can seem to be an enormous obstacle.

The opportunity is to recognize these worries long before they become a challenge. When you can be proactive, you will suffer less and ultimately be able to do more without dread.

The initial step in taking care of holiday stress is this:
Avoid replaying the problem over and over again. If you are saying something along the lines of “there is not enough time and too much to do”, and you are saying it over and over, and you don’t do anything differently, then you are using up your precious time – just maintaining the problem.

Better still, unplug the energy from the problem. To unplug, just tell yourself “stop!”, And then take a few long deep breaths to bring yourself totally into the present moment. When you had the anxious feeling earlier – you were projecting your energy into the future. It’s much more resourceful here and now, in the present moment.Free from being overwhelmed

Once you are fully in the present moment – ask, “What is the truth of my current situation?”. Answer your question without collapsing back into the previous level of thinking, and focus on what the real core issues are that created the problem. Write them down.

The next step is to become very aware of the emotions that are present.

For every core issue, you listed – identify the feeling that goes along with that issue.  For example, if one of the issues was that you were saying YES, automatically without checking in with how you feel about things, then that feeling might be of shame or embarrassment.

See if you can identify the reasons why you feel this way. These reasons may just be the things that are stopping you from being your most effective self.

The last step is to change your thought, to change the way you are feeling.

To do this, create a thought that is just a little bit better.

For example, if I am feeling embarrassed about automatically saying yes to everything… I might change my thought (by making it just a little better) to something like:
“I say yes to only some things automatically and then to others, I stop and see how I feel.”

After you have your statement, check in with how you feel at that moment. Most women feel a little bit better.

Next improve that last statement by making it just a little bit better.

“I allow myself time to see how I feel before I answer yes to a question” – and then see how you feel. (Even better still)
Then, just keep on creating incrementally better thoughts – until you feel great and resourceful.

Afterwards, also, give yourself a little bit of appreciation for what you have accomplished. Then give yourself a little bit more appreciation – and so on.





Personal Leadership – When All You Are Expecting for Christmas is Chaos

When there is chaos at Christmas

The holiday season can be a wonderful time to practice your various personal leadership skills.

Holidays can be stressful and filled with chaos  for some folks.  I know that always been true in my life.   Being a highly sensitive person, I am often sensory overwhelmed by the increase in people, colors, smells and energy of the season.  If you are like me – you are always looking for a little bit more ease in your Christmas instead of Christmas stress.

Here are my favorite personal leadership tips for creating a little less stress and a lot more ease this season:

1.  Be in the moment. Try to keep yourself present as much as possible.  No – I don’t mean wrapping yourself up – just keep aware of what is going on in the moment.  How are you feeling?  Are you full?  Do you need to breathe a little bit more?   Use your body as a measure of your level of personal presence; it’s your best resource.

2.  Express gratitude for today.  It’s a wonderful life. Relish it.   Relish too those that are around you – for they or you  may not always be there.

3. See the pure essential nature of everyone around you.   Seeing the very best, of what you hope for someone in front of you – and interacting  with that person – as if they are already there – creates a container for them to expand into.

4. Look for the positives today.  What ever you focus on – is what you will notice. There will be other days to notice what is not working with the stove, your relatives, the decorations or the weather.  Today – notice the best of what is.

5. See what is beautiful. Noticing beauty is another way to create a little more calm in your day.   Seeing  the graceful bend of a bow,  beauty of how rain dances on the pavement or the windshield wipers  or the warm, bright, beautiful faces of children – creates an ease all in itself. See yourself as beautiful today too.  You deserve that.

6. Be just a little more allowing today. Misplaced control often creates more problems than easing them.  Practice being allowing today – you can head off a lot of chaos before it even starts that way.

7. See the perfection in everything. Now, this is different than making things perfect.  It’s about how ever it is – it is perfect.

8. Under indulge. Your body could use a little less stress today too.

Xmas Greetings